We all have difficult days and unfulfilled dreams and sometimes need a place of comfort. We have joyful days and want someone to celebrate with us, but if we’re not paying attention, significant moments can be overlooked.
So turn off the television, log off social media, pocket the mobile phone, and if you can’t mute the phone and ignore it, then leave it in the car when you go out to eat. Be present — not just with your ears, but your eyes, as well. Pay attention. Don’t interrupt. Say, “Tell me more or help me understand,” and just listen.
Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
To illustrate the influence of social isolation and loneliness on the risk for premature mortality, Holt-Lunstad presented data from two meta-analyses. The first involved 148 studies, representing more than 300,000 participants, and found that greater social connection is associated with a 50 percent reduced risk of early death. The second study, involving 70 studies representing more than 3.4 million individuals primarily from North America but also from Europe, Asia and Australia, examined the role that social isolation, loneliness or living alone might have on mortality. Researchers found that all three had a significant and equal effect on the risk of premature death, one that was equal to or exceeded the effect of other well-accepted risk factors such as obesity.
Get off your damn phone, get out of the house and go do something with your family and friends.
Technology steers what 2 billion people are thinking and believing every day. It’s possibly the largest source of influence over 2 billion people’s thoughts that has ever been created. Religions and governments don’t have that much influence over people’s daily thoughts. But we have three technology companies who have this system that frankly they don’t even have control over—with newsfeeds and recommended videos and whatever they put in front of you—which is governing what people do with their time and what they’re looking at.
I’ll be the first to admit I spend a lot of time online. But I pretty much avoid most social media sites. Stopped using FaceBorg. Instagram to catch the occasional post from one of the kids. A little Twitter for news. LinkedIn rarely. It wasn’t hard for me to recognize mass brainwashing. Not to mention addiction.
One of my more popular posts was a link to this Atlantic article.
But many of you never clicked through to read the article. I do hope you take the time to read this Wired article. It will make you think long and hard about your use of technology.
Think about what would happen if you shut off some of these apps that keep dinging you for attention? This happens.
Two good articles on a disturbing trend.
In a pair of studies involving nearly 280,000 people, William Chopik found that friendships become increasingly important to one’s happiness and health across the lifespan. Not only that, but in older adults, friendships are actually a stronger predictor of health and happiness than relationships with family members.
The condition also overlaps with obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, and somatoform disorders. During the session, two case reports were presented. The first patient was a 72-year-old white Buddhist nun who presented with extreme weight loss. “You get afraid of eating because you don’t know what it’ll do to you,” said the patient in a video clip. “Eventually I was afraid to do anything, so I did nothing.”
Some time ago I developed a fear of what would happen to me if I stopped drinking alcohol. So I did nothing.